Head above

Emotionally, I am staying a—

Float with both my legs chopped off

At the hips

So I am heaving

Myself head above not treading but

Beating water

And grief keeps guzzling in—

To my nose and gasping 

Mouth while I

Try not to drown under the chaos

And unexpected weight

Dropped into my occupied arms

As a welcome

Back instead of a bright orange

Buoy that might save my 

Life as I need it now

To hang onto and resist the siren song

Of my legs pulling

Me to the murky bottom of the pool

Of tears I could not cry and any

Help I need it more

Than to drown myself in work

Because easier as it seems

I don’t want to become a

Maimed half-chewed mermaid

Carcass in the company of

Shipwrecks