Unhappiness in our own way

We have slightly less than a month
Before this umbilical tie is severed by the
Roar of the Great Pacific and the 12 hours
Delay and the tragically human weakness
Of one of us being terrible with technology. 

You would not, however, make it easy
To leave. Too many unsaid words,
Unresolved conflict, knots that will take
Time to untangle again. We bleed a trail of
Blood when we are finally broken apart.

Always, the reminder for me to keep 
A light on, and my eyes wide open, so that
The brightness saves me from fresh tears
Each time my thoughts gravitate towards
Darkness. That is a special kind of grief,

A never ending leak that’ll only be warded
Off by gazing at reality and becoming
Dead man’s stricken eyes to remind myself I
Do not care enough to be hurt when rewinding
The ways we die under each other’s words.

I am counting down the days in a month
That are passed in silence and curtness.
I sleep with the lights on and eyes never 
Closed so I may sleep without crying. 

I wonder if you will cry,
Finally, when I fly.