Impermanence

I. The good thing about this universe is that ⁣
Nothing is permanent. Bad times don’t last.⁣
In the 45 seconds I scramble in the Portaloo⁣
Trying to get out of the chemical rancour of⁣
Blue liquid or days of stored urea or diarrhoea ⁣
I was convinced my breath would run out⁣
And the stench would cling to the fibre of my⁣
Uniform or alveoli for good. Fortunately,⁣
The universe is impermanent, even for the⁣
Smell of the Portaloo that haunts you for awhile.⁣
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II. The good thing about this universe is that⁣
Nothing lasts forever. Not the lousy neighbour,⁣
Incompetent superior, someone whose face you⁣
Just can’t stand. They will all get off the bus, or⁣
You will. It has rained and the deep tire marks⁣
In the mud formed ponds and tadpoles cluster⁣
Like stars in these biomes just next door, ⁣
Separate as drifting galaxies one blank space⁣
Apart. Someone steps into the mud, deforms⁣
The puddle, merges two worlds, kills a dozen⁣
Tadpoles, and the universe is impermanent like that.⁣
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III. The not so good thing about this universe:⁣
Nothing lasts forever. Not your favourite prata⁣
Store down the corner of your block, not your⁣
Goldfish from primary school, not your friends,⁣
Not your lover, not you. ⁣
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IV. When I was a child I imagined what if my ⁣
Mum died. Stupid move. Tears welled up and ⁣
My throat clenched and so my night was ruined. ⁣
I went to sleep, and in the clarity of daylight I ⁣
Realised the beauty of this universe for even⁣
Sadness does not last. What an irrational fear!⁣
It went away because what was there to ⁣
Mourn if it was predetermined. ⁣
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V. Dumb child who dreams of losses, I have ⁣
Outgrown her. Still, I imagined what if you left. ⁣
You. You, however, I could never make the fear ⁣
Go away no matter how many nights turn into ⁣
Dawn in my sleep, and how tight I close my eyes⁣
Deep down in the tiny corner of my heart ⁣
I know this is enough to kill me if broken and ⁣
The pain will stay, long and dull, like cracks ⁣
Along sidewalks where roots have pushed past⁣
The fresh wound. As we sway from side to side,⁣
I think about Portaloos and tadpoles and big⁣
Raintrees that line the roads home. The thing ⁣
About this universe is the impermanence of ⁣
Our fears. That is what allows us to cry happy ⁣
Tears and fall in love and find reasons to⁣
Want to believe that somethings last forever.