He could not keep still as he waited in line. Tipping toe, swerving and craning to see how many more were before him. He had to wring his hands and pry them apart, wring together and then unstick his fingers again, he could not help it: he was beyond nervous. His classmates were slowing inching forward, stop, forward, stop, the queue sputtering its way towards the principal, who was still towering over them despite having to stoop to pass them the graduation certificate.
When it came to his turn, he walked too fast and stepped on the girl before him. She turned to scowl. Mortified, he rushed out, “I’m sorry E48!” The girl scowled even more, “I’m now Avic. A-V-I-C.”
Avic! A thrill ran through him. No longer a number but a name! It was going to be his turn now! His turn! He cocked his head back and stared up at the principal expectantly. The principal bent down and dropped a scroll into his hands, “Congratulation for graduating top of the class, Aeron.”
Aeron! He moved along in the queue clutching the scroll to his chest, murmuring the name in different ways, experimenting with how it tastes, conditioning his mind to get used to hearing it. Aeron. Aeron! He skipped a little and bumped into Avic again.
“Watch where you’re going,” she did not sound angry, and her eyes drifted to his scroll, “have you seen what is your mission?” Having forgotten about it in the thrill of hearing his name, he opened his scroll excitedly. Avic continued, “I’m going to a king in some country! He is a new king and he wants to know how he should rule his people and I’m going as Avic, “to rule with mercy”. I really like my name! I bet you would have a great mission, since you’re so strong. What name did you get?”
For a brief moment he did not catch anything she said, then he smiled tightly, feeling confused, “I’m Aeron now.” And after reading his scroll again, “And I’m going to a king in a country too.” “That’s a great name! It sounds powerful just like you. I wonder if our kings are somehow related. Do you think we could see each other?”
“Don’t be silly, the principal had told us that once we graduate we will be all on our own serving our host, and we will never see each other either.” He replied.
As the queue continued moving forward towards the arching gate from where they would graduate from, he felt less confused and a little more unsettled. He licked his lips and eyed the end of the queue warily. The closer they got, the more miserable he feels. He could feel the impact between the eyelids each time he blinked rapidly. The sound of his breathing echoed in his skull. His skin felt like fire and his feet felt like fire so he had to keep moving to spread the heat but the queue was moving slowly. If he stopped, he was sure he would be consumed by something. This cannot be right. He opened the scroll again to check. This cannot be right.
Finally, there were only two more people in front of him. He did not need to peer to see the drop from the platform. The drop was endless and sent a dizzying wave that intensified his nausea. He felt sick and could not explain why; it definitely was not the approaching dizzying drop because he had steeled himself for his graduation. He did not understand why the principal sent him on this mission knowing how strongly he could affect humans. He blinked hard when it was only him and Avic left. Yes, this must be anxiety he was feeling. It was bordering on dread but he did not know why. Prior to the graduation he had worked really hard to become strong so that he could look forward to his mission, but now the excitement he anticipated…
“Aeron, good luck with your mission!” Avic turned around suddenly. A pause, doubtful of whether he was being spoken to, then he squeezed a smile in return, “Good luck too, in convincing your king to ‘rule with mercy’.”
Avic was a nice name. Avic! How he wished he got that too. She continued as she was shepherded to the edge, “Oh I forgot to ask you, what does your name mean? What are you trying to convince the host to do?”
Suddenly he felt an urge to snatch E48’s scroll and jump down in her place. “Aeron, means berry,” He smiles tightly, then reconsiders and adds, “or the meaning that makes more sense is ‘war, carnage’.” She looked about to exclaim in surprise but the gatekeepers had pushed her off the edge and she disappeared in a trail of terrified scream.
Suddenly alone and feeling foolish for saying it out load, he wringed his hands again. His fingers felt endlessly tangled and he was quivering too much to pry them apart. He was just doing what he was taught, but there was a rising magma in him that rose with urgency as he stepped towards the edge, closer to graduation, further from a chance to turn back. Why was he so anxious? It was just a mission he knew he could complete. Yet, visiting a human as “Aeron”…
“Happy graduation.” The gatekeepers muttered and suddenly he was plummeting over the edge. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt tears go to the corners. The terrible feeling of conflict, a thousand knots, recalibrated to his head. It was hard to breathe; he was nearly panicking.
Suddenly, the familiar clouds broke and he was falling through the clear sky, into the dreams of a young king sleeping soundly in bed, still unaware of the approaching faceless army marching in his veins, against a bloody glowing sky.
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