Life update first: In case it has not been obvious enough from the title, I am devoid of life source to fuel my creativity these days. It sounds really anti-establishment when I say it like that, but I feel that the rigor of schools really drains me of time and energy to create stuff. Project Work, or ‘it is not about doing new things but about doing the same old stuff in the best possible way’, is eating so much of my day away with nothing really fulfilling coming out of this investment. In fact I am gradually accommodating the mindset of Project Work and it is actually killing my excitement to do revolutionary stuff whenever a task comes up.
Hence, this series of nonsensical portraits are meant as a struggle against this (as half-hearted as it sounds, this is me giving what I have left of my weary brain). Watch me waste time on these things I actually enjoy creating when I have an entire basket of random schoolwork laundry to be done.
These portraits are also intended as an exercise to get accustomed to judgment. Let me take you to the behind-the-scenes of every photo: these are taken at the void deck at my house (by myself again) and boy was that a stressful experience because it was peak hour and there were so many people walking about. I was sitting on the floor trying to position my makeshift tripod and pretending to check my phone to avoid awkward eye contact because I either look like a narcissistic idiot or a homeless with a stolen silk top. I was so afraid of getting reported by a passers-by for suspicious activities because even families dragged the young ones to bypass me. You better study hard or you will end up like her, I feel like that’s what they are saying.
The ironic thing is I cannot even attempt to brush of this embarrassment with a “do it for the gram” because I legitimately will not go such an extra mile just for an Instagram-worthy picture (it might seem hard for people to believe but you just have to take my word for it). I realise that having this blog really demarcate a plot of land for me to do strange things that I would otherwise not do. Did not really start it out with this intention but hey, I suppose it is creating a good habit for me so I shall smile through the discomfort I always find myself in while creating one of these things.
If you have gotten this far, and felt that hearing me talk about making sure I am not rusty and dead inside yet sounds a lot like a stretch to justify procrastination, then take this post as a very unsentimental good-bye to my hair. Seems like a really convoluted commemoration post for my hair before I snip-snip it away to look presentable for the presentation. Maybe all these warbling is just a smoke screen to enjoy the fabulous hair flips I could still afford to do, but I guess one can take it in any way they want.
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